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Joke of the Day
"Subway...I don't know whats worse.. What Jared did or you raising your Februany $5 footlong to 6$."
Next Joke
"What's the hottest album in hell right now? Views from the 666"
"[william shakespeare as an 8yo] dad: bedtime william: dost thou not... dad: [interrupting] STOP TALKING LIKE THAT!"
"@realDonaldTrump the 1930s called, they said ""great idea."""
"TV before 6pm: ""Men are idiots."" TV after 6pm: ""Women are idiots"" TV after midnight: ""Abs are easy to get!"""
"*Child putting on clothes very slowly while singing* Me: You really need to hurry up we're going to be late. *Child starts singing faster*"
"Oh for goodness sake, if abortion was really the same as murdering babies nobody would favour it. Isn't it OBVIOUS you're missing the point?"
"What do you call a woman who is paralyzed from the waist down? Married."
"How much coke did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men."
"Give a man a fish, and he'll ask for a lemon; teach a man to fish and he'll leave work early on Fridays."