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Joke of the Day
"Subway...I don't know whats worse.. What Jared did or you raising your Februany $5 footlong to 6$."
Next Joke
"my doctor said for every upvote this gets, i will lose one rib I only need 24 and then I can finally give myself head Edit: chill guys extra upvotes are gonna start taking my organs"
"Before Google, there was memory."
"What's hindi for milf? Mumbae"
"My wife said to me she wanted to go somewhere fancy.... ""somewhere where they serve from the left!"" she demanded, so I took her through the drive-thu."
"Do not apologize for your dog coming up to me because this is exactly what I wanted"
"I'm a real gym rat (i go there at night and eat their garbage)"
"I don't know what I'd do without Twitter. Probably my work."
"My cat's dead, can I play with your pussy instead?"
"A man with dyslexia goes to the doctor and says, ""I have been feeling a tad sick lately."" He is immediately diagnosed with depression and lyme disease. EDIT: Correction"