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Joke of the Day

"Are you involved in ISIS? Because I'm falling head over heels for you."

"what is in common between h.clinton and ronda rousey? they both won the popular vote"

"Why was the track runner with low self-esteem able to complete the race even after being impaled by a stray javelin? He didn't know he had it in him."

"My son would have been 16 today... It's too bad he died after being caught in my wife's bed."

"The girl I have a date with tonight texted and said 'I have no gag reflex ;) ' So I guess that means I'm taking her to a Nicolas Cage movie"

"""Oh, beautiful. Just perfect. I wonder if I'll be able to control myself... aaaand they're gone."" - Me with Thin Mints, and women."

"My wife is like a grape She lets out a little whine."

"What do you call someone that goes down on both genders? Bilingual."

"HER: I don't know what you'd do without me. ME: HER: Please stop imagining all those things. ME: Ok."

"Doctor doctor I feel like I'm part of the Internet! Well you do look a site"