197939

Joke of the Day

"""Oh, beautiful. Just perfect. I wonder if I'll be able to control myself... aaaand they're gone."" - Me with Thin Mints, and women."

"Did you hear the one about the Mormon porn star? They spent a year doing missionary work."

"I'm so bad at philosophy.... .....I Kant even"

"Gardening I was gardening the other day when my older brother rang to ask if I wanted to hang out. I promptly said yes because you know what they say, bros before hose."

"i dont think anyone quotes mlk more than white people who were just accused of racism themselves"

"Ladies & gentlemen, this is your pilot speaking. Anyone who bought WiFi please google ""Fatal Engine Error:38"" & come to Cockpit ASAP. Thanks"

"How do you make Aquaman cool? Put him in water!"

"What's Black White And Red All Over? A Police Shootout"

"*drops mic* *drops mic* *drops mic* *drops mic* *drops mic* *drops mic* *drops mic* *drops mic* Octopus after owning some1 in a rap battle"

"England fans must be pretty happy right now. They've been waiting years for their team to play like Spain."