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Joke of the Day

"HER: I don't know what you'd do without me. ME: HER: Please stop imagining all those things. ME: Ok."

"Why did the man shut his donut shop? Why did the man close his donut shop? ...because he was fed up with the hole business!"

"If I were to open a dollar store in the UK, I'd call it Pound Town."

"I wish restaurant food looked like the pictures on the menu. A hostess asked me how everything was. I said, ""My compliments to the photographer."""

"She asked me for breakfast in bed... I said ""maybe you should swallow next time."""

"What's the difference between the Rockettes and a troop of acrobats? One is a cunning array of stunts."

"What kind of bees scare neckbeards? Boo-bees."

"Girls can be so ungrateful. I make her breakfast in bed and instead of saying ""Thank you"" she is all like ""How did you get into my house?"""

"Why did the one-eyed pirate keep running aground? No depth perception."

"What would you get if you crossed a witch with a famous movie director? Steven Spellberg!"