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Joke of the Day
"what is in common between h.clinton and ronda rousey? they both won the popular vote"
Next Joke
"Happy National Alienate Several Friends By Calling One Friend Your Best Friend Day."
"Why do flamingos stand on one leg? Because if they didn't stand on any leg they would fall"
"The rest of the world should fear our military. We have the most cutting edge technology 1954 had to offer."
"How about a ceiling fan with brakes so I don't have to stand there for 10 seconds wondering if I actually turned it off."
"Hey girls: FYI, if you tilt the camera up just a wee bit higher you can actually get your face in the picture."
"How do we know the Earth was born on April 22nd?"
"Because im a bad ass! Why did I put the punchline up there?"
"After years in the Military, the soldier survived mustard gas and pepper spray and was proud to finally be able to call himself a seasoned veteran."
"Me: *gets all four daughters dressed* Wife: I want everyone in Christmas dresses. Me: But- Wife: Everyone. Me: Fine. *puts on my dress*"