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Joke of the Day

"I've been dating a girl online who I think might be a Catfish. Every time I try to meet, her excuse is that she ""can't survive on dry land."""

"""You clean up nicely"", is just a polite way of saying, ""You usually look like shit."""

"You call it the Friend Zone. I call it Palcatraz."

"Blind dates are the best because they can't see me stealing all of the food from their plate"

"What do you get if you turn an evil laugh backwards? A laughing cow. Ahahahahahahahamoo."

"How do you count cows? You use a cow-culator. Or you round them up. Or any other method the commenters want."

"What did the pirate say when he became an octogenarian? Aye matey."

"When your friend tells you she's thinking about adopting and you get really disappointed when you find out she means a human."

"A Tiny Joke Zack's penis."

"Snooker is like sex. The pink is more valuable than the brown."