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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a camel with three humps? Pregnant."

"I bet if Jesus had turned water into Vodka. The Bible would've been a lot more interesting."

"What do you call a hippie astronaut? A far out man"

"A good joke to pull on friends: The Reverse Knock Knock Joke. Ask a person to say ""Knock-Knock."" You Reply ""Who's There?"" See how long it takes for them to get it."

"Congrats to #LeonardoDiCaprio on his first Best Actor Oscar. You can stop sacrificing goats now."

"[meeting] Bill: we'll call it BILLOSOPHY Phil [pulling out briefcase and assembling gun]: Good idea! Steal my board idea now this? Not again"

"Why did the Chicken cross the road? To get to your house!!! Alright, that was a lame joke...here's another: * Knock, Knock. * Who's There? * THE CHICKEN!!!"

"Parenting is no different than a bear attack. Curl up & play dead and they usually leave you alone."

"As a kid, I had to be careful not to curse around adults. Now as an adult, I have to be careful not to curse around kids."

"LPT: If you feel cold, stand in a corner They're usually around 90 degrees"