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Joke of the Day

"Two ants, Jack and Rose, are sitting on a leaf on water. Suddenly, a small tide comes and upturns the leaf. Only the girl ant sinks... ...because the other is a buoy ant"

"People always say don't go to the grocery store when you're hungry. But I haven't eaten for a week and I'm getting really, really hungry."

"Eliza Bayne on Bikini Dangers Probably the worst thing you can hear when you're wearing a bikini is ""Good for you!"""

"Sad news from Miami today: Famous rapper, Pitbull, was unfortunately found alive in his home today according to a relative."

"I drink expresso irregardless of the time, because, for all intensive purposes, its good for my sole. Also, it keeps my brain alot sharper."

"If I had a dollar for every time someone over 40 told me my generation sucks... I wouldn't have to give so many blowjobs."

"How does a mathematician get rid of constipation? He gets a pencil and works it out."

"In Europe they are now printing their money on Greece proof paper."

"What does Dr. Oz do when you throw scientific evidence at his head? Ducks like a quack."

"If Monday had a face, I'd punch it."