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Joke of the Day

"People always say don't go to the grocery store when you're hungry. But I haven't eaten for a week and I'm getting really, really hungry."

"I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist"

"Did you hear about the blonde actress that stabbed her husband with a fork? Reese something... Reese Witherspoon? No with her fork!"

"I like my coffee like I like my women.. Thrown into a burlap sack and transported across the border."

"I'm not saying my wife's voice is annoying, but right now I'm really jealous of deaf people."

"Why did kurt pull the trigger? He couldn't get hole out of his head"

"Guys, I have to stop cyber-bullying North Korea. They called my mom."

"EVERYONE ALWAYS THINKS I'M YELLING, BUT MY VIC 20 DOESN'T HAVE LOWER CASE!"

"What's the difference between 365 used condoms and a tire? One's a goodyear and the other is a great year."

"My friend is an idiot. Both of us spot a gorgeous woman standing about 30 feet away. Friend: What should I do? Me: Court her. Friend: Dude, I don't have any change..."