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Joke of the Day
"How does a mathematician get rid of constipation? He gets a pencil and works it out."
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"Why does your son call you big brother? Because he's your mom's kid."
"Why was the empty penis so scary? Because it was a hollow wiener (halloweener) [works better spoken - I think - just made it up in the shower]"
"what do you call a big pile of kittens? A meowtain. Edit: meowntain. Happy now??"
"50 shades of hay [50 shades of hay](http://imgur.com/YRGs7P0)"
"What is the definition of a Wife? An attachment you screw on the bed to get the housework done."
"Ever blow bubbles as a kid? He's back in town and wants you to give him a call."
"How do the Chinese decide on their next porn star? They hold an erection..."
"I just saw a ghost with Tourrets. Fuckboo to you too."
"Fitbits are the selfies of exercise."