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Joke of the Day

"If I had a dollar for every time someone over 40 told me my generation sucks... I wouldn't have to give so many blowjobs."

"My ex told me that Gaga's ""Bad Romance"" song reminds him of me. Now I'm glad I dumped him. What sort of idiot admits to listening to Gaga."

"How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and the other to hold the penis -- LADDER. I meant ladder."

"My 16yo daughters boyfriend struggled with a capri sun for the last 10 minutes. I think it's ok to leave her alone with him."

"I'm just a girl, standing in my kitchen, forgetting what I came in here for."

"9 y/o daughter: dad, what's your favourite healthy food? Me: fruits. Your's? 9: Eggs Me: Good 9: like Reese's peanut butter eggs"

"My coworker and I have the same job title with the same number of years experience. He was pissed when he found out my salary was only a fraction his. Turns out that fraction is 2/1"

"Open letter to the mods of /r/jokes C"

"Aasians hate the NFL Cause theres no more rice"

"Boxers leave me feeling unsupported. But I guess I shouldn't expect a man who has forged his hands into weapons to gently cup my balls."