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Joke of the Day
"""Opinions are like assholes..."" ""... I like yours."" -SO this morning"
Next Joke
"Want to hear a dumb, old joke? Hillary Clinton. Want to hear a dumber, older joke? Wherefore doth the chicken cross the road? Want to hear the oldest, dumbest joke I've heard? Donald Trump."
"*pulls away from kissing* JUDGE: That was unexpected and kind of nice, but you're still guilty."
"I just got a bunch of cool apps and games for my Windows Phone"
"*bride and groom kiss* minister: wow im like right here"
"Where do you find a quadriplegic? There where you left him."
"Made some terrible life choices the last few years. Just kidding. I'm married and not allowed to make decisions."
"The other hole. My buddy asked me the other day if whenever my wife and I were getting freaky if I ever tried having sex with her other ""hole"". I replied ""Hell No!"",.......... She might get pregnant."
"What do you call someone from Zimbabwe holding a bottle cap in their hand? A trillionaire."
"TIL that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Arkansas to 32. It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools."