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Joke of the Day
"""Aw man, who's going to agree to play Frodo in the Lord of the Rings movies?"" ""Elijah Would."""
Next Joke
"Hey, courtroom artists. If you think the guy sounds guilty, draw an eye patch or scar. This isn't photography."
"People say that it's unethical to eat meat But I feel good every time I eat bacon and remember that I've taken a pig that was living a squalid and miserable life and sent it to heaven."
"Pictures of rich missing kids should go on the back of 1%"
"In space, no one can hear you scream. Because it's space, and everyone is on the ground. What are you even doing up there?"
"Two blondes are sitting on a park bench Suddenly one sniffs the air and exclaims, ""I smell a cock!"" ""Sorry,"" says the other. ""I farted."""
"Which cheese is made backwards? Edam"
"There were 5 peanuts walking down the street... ...and one was assaulted...peanut."
"Stranger: ""Hey, I like your beard!"" Me: ""Thanks, it's really growing on me"""
"I just got rear ended... ...and as I got out of the car, without even realizing how funny it was, I said ""That's a pain in the ass"" True story."