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Joke of the Day

"In space, no one can hear you scream. Because it's space, and everyone is on the ground. What are you even doing up there?"

"Why couldn't the laptop go to sleep? Because it has two shifts."

"I like to leave odd yelp reviews for fast food restaurants that say things like, ""Not overly racist."""

"What's the difference in a dog, some meat, and a blow job? You can beat your dog, you can beat your meat, but you can't beat a blow job."

"Why are Alabama weddings so small? They've only gotta invite one family"

"What's the difference between a pizza and a black man? A pizza can feed a family"

"Shouting ""put your hands in the air like you just don't care!"" is a fun way to bring a party atmosphere to a bank robbery."

"George bush got stuck in concrete. That sets a bad precedent."

"How do you know if you are a necrophiliac? You get mourning wood"

"Just watched The Hobbit: The Battle to Stay Awake for What Felt Like Five Hours."