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Joke of the Day

"I just got rear ended... ...and as I got out of the car, without even realizing how funny it was, I said ""That's a pain in the ass"" True story."

"My parents raised me as an only child... Which really upset my sister"

"When I was a kid growing up in the Cold War, I had nightmares about the Russians. They wrote long novels. And professors made me read them."

"""You run like you're making fun of running."" -my brother"

"*Will smith is alone in his corner, depressed* ""Won't Smith,"" he whispers"

"What kind of pastry do you need a thesaurus to eat? Synonym rolls"

"I'm great with kids because mentally I'm on their level."

"Because it ruins the joke. Why should you never put the punchline in the title?"

"How can Donald Trump deport millions of illegal immigrants? By completely ignoring, these are only campaign promises."

"Computers make very fast very accurate mistakes."