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Joke of the Day

"What the Washington Fat Cats don't understand is that when they stopped making Doritos 3D we lost an entire dimension of flavor"

"I hear the Pink Panther song when I sneak down the hall for a midnight snack.."

"Today someone told me that I was ignorant and apathetic. I don't know what that means and I don't care."

"Friend: Did Eric survive the bear attack? Me: 'BEAR'-ly! F: HA! Any injuries? Me: {nervously} Ooooohhhhh BAD JOKE... He's definitely dead..."

"What do you get when you cross a sheep with a robot? Steel wool"

"I've hated dentists way before they started killing lions."

"What's the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick? A hockey player takes shower after three periods."

"What has 4 wheels and flies? A garbage truck"

"Why do they ask you if you would like paper or plastic at the grocery store? Because baggers can't be choosers,"

"My doctor told me to avoid trans fats. I'm really gonna miss Tumblr."