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Joke of the Day
"Christmas is the season when you buy this year's gifts with next year's money."
Next Joke
"How do you kill a blonde? There are three ways; -put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool -a mirror at the bottom of a pool -or put a condom on the top of a flag pole"
"My grandfather got new pants the other day. I asked him how they fit... He said ""Like a cheap castle."" Seeing the confused look on my face, he elaborated, saying, ""No ball room."""
"I got into lucid dreaming recently its everything I imagined it to be."
"If a fly does not fly, is it a walk? /music plays"
"*christopre walken givig tour of apt* this is my.. walken closet. and these boots. these boots were made.. *long unecesary pause* for walken"
"Yo mama is so fat, when the judge said ""order"", she order a milkshake, cheeseburger, and fries."
"What's blue and fucks grannies? Me in my lucky blue suit."
"How many rudeboys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Twenty. 1 to drop it, 19 to go ""Pick it up, pick it up, pick it up""."
"[god inventing animals] okay here's a new one. It's an umbrella ""okay"" made out of jello ""alright"" and it electrocutes things ""you're drunk"""