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Joke of the Day

"How many rudeboys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Twenty. 1 to drop it, 19 to go ""Pick it up, pick it up, pick it up""."

"I don't know what I drank last night, but the vacuum is stuck on top of the house."

"As the programmer was going to the store his wife called out We need a quart of milk and if they have eggs bring me back a dozen. He returns with 3 gallons of milk and says: ""They had eggs."""

"The English language lacks a word to mean ""To make a spouse feel uncomfortable by aggressively cleaning the house around them""."

"If you could choose between having a light saber or saving a child..... Which color light saber would you choose?"

"I recently bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer... I dunno what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day!"

"Every time God closes a door, he opens a window, thereby wasting electricity on air conditioning, causing climate change and dooming us all."

"How does a Muslim find a goat in tall grass? Sexier when his child bride is holding it."

"If a white girl falls in the forest, and no one is around to omg, does she even?"

"People that say ""money can't buy happiness"" either have no money or buying the wrong things."