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Joke of the Day

"What did Kermit the Frog say when Jim Henson died? ...nothing."

"Heard a Beethoven piece & a Ke$ha song yesterday. Which one is deaf again?"

"If I ever run into Captian Crunch, I'm gonna punch him in the roof of his mouth."

"Him: Are you on your way? Me: Yes, this cab driver sucks! *changes outfit for the 6th time, gulps wine and requests an uber*"

"Fun prank: 1. Steal your married friends phone 2. Change your name to 'Brandi from the club' 3. Call repeatedly at 3AM and hang up"

"Why are Plumbers always so tired? Because their job is draining."

"Why can't gay people play poker? Because they can't keep a straight face."

"Why are ska bands so clean? They always pick it up pick it up pick it up."

"On Pedophile Opposite Day they go to army bases to have sex with Majors."

"The NFL replacement refs"