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Joke of the Day
"Why was the table pissed at Jesus? Because he looked a little cross."
Next Joke
"I asked my wife to tell me something that made me happy and sad at the same time... She said ""Out of all your friends, you have the biggest dick.""."
"Kids are like farts... ...the only ones you can put up with are your own."
"Why do NBA players like poultry? Because they love to slam duck!"
"When I was young I had to go to walking school. It was tough. They really put you through your paces there"
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. -Wayne Gretzky -Michael Scott -Melania Trump"
"*looks up from phone* ...nah *looks back down*"
"Doctors who wear scrubs infuriate me. You put on a goddamn suit and tie or a ball gown before you handle me, you slob."
"A Jewish dad walks into a bar mitzvah. . edited to add the missing z"
"A guy walks into a Kinkos and asks, ""Do you have any colored printers?"" To which the clerk responds, ""It's 2016 man. You can use any printer you want."""