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Joke of the Day

"It's so expensive ""How much do the potatoes cost?"" - ""2.50."" - ""And the bag?"" - ""The bag is free."" - ""Ok, give me the bag."""

"How many /r/news mods does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They like to keep their subscribers in the dark."

"Both Christmas and New Years fell on a weekend this year, which had to suck for the four or five of you that still have jobs."

"set a fire for a man and he is warm for a day, set him on fire and he is warn for the rest of his life"

"I need an app that shows oncoming traffic on my touchscreen while I'm driving"

"I'm constantly amazed at how different my twin daughters are. Lisa is so much more positive & confident than her sister Hog Face."

"I've been doing this new program called 'Cooking with Nature: Chinese Edition' You'd think it would be tough, but it's just a wok in the park."

"It's difficult to say what my wife does for a living. She sells seashells down by the seashore."

"My girlfriend is a porn star! She's gonna be pissed when she finds out. EDIT: thanks for front page!"

"Viagra Tea Does nothing for your sexual vigour, but stops your biscuit going soft."