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Joke of the Day
"Who was the worst U.S. President of all time? Hoover, his administration really sucked."
Next Joke
"Existing is a pretty remarkable achievement."
"The first rule of procrastination club is: Google some weird shit then take a nap."
"Me: A watched pot never boils. Wife: ... Me: ... Wife: ... Me: ... Wife: ... Me: ... Wife: Try turning on the stove, idiot."
"Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose? They couldn't close his casket."
"30% of Satan's workday is responding to accidental summonings caused by predictive typing."
"when i was 17 my bucket list was ""buy a house"" & ""marry a tycoon"" now i'm 27 it's ""tickle a baby hedgehog"" and ""learn Beyonce choreography"""
"In politics we call it left-wing and right-wing because we are all a part of the same bird. And we are all being told what to do by bird brains."
"The picture heading read ""Panorama!"" I thought it said ""Paranormal"" I wasted hours staring at these elongated images looking for ghosts."
"Why did my girlfriend go on birth control? Because I wanted her to be a twinkie and not a toaster strudel."