176225

Joke of the Day

"30% of Satan's workday is responding to accidental summonings caused by predictive typing."

"It's hard telling how many Kleenex I've fathered."

"What's Bill Clinton's favorite instrument to play? His whore Monica."

"I lost two things today. My virginity.. ..and my job at the morgue."

"CRIME SCENE me: four dots in his neck, i suspect two vampires british officer: what about that bloody fork me: this is no time to eat sir"

"How do you project confidence? Multiply by the cosine of the angle."

"Q: Why did the blonde give up bowling for screwing? A: The balls are lighter and you don't have to change shoes."

"What did Patrick Stewart say when he was given a tortoise for his birthday? Please, take it back. I don't like getting attached to animals. Especially when they only live 100 years."

"What does the aardvark take sailing? An aard ark!"

"I'm not worried about Muslim suicide bombers They can only do it once. Those Hindu suicide bombers are the real threat."