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Joke of the Day

"Logged out of Twitter for a few hours... Finally graduated college, lost some weight, showered, read 17 books, and started a family."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bethany ! Bethany who ? Bethany good movies recently !"

"Thanks honey for rolling over at 3am and telling me I should get some sleep.In my insomnia stupor that hadn't crossed my mind."

"Inception *A van falls into a river* (Duration: 148 minutes)"

"What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph, because he is too short to be an essay!"

"A slut's prayer: As I lay down with this creep, I pray he sticks it in real deep, If he comes before I do, I'll have to f*ck his best friend too."

"Every morning when my alarm goes off I think ""This is the worst thing that has EVER happened."""

"Why did Princess Di cross the road? Interia"

"Why are horses never overweight? They're on a stable diet."

"I tried explaining sarcasm to some kleptomaniacs but they always take things literally."