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Joke of the Day

"Inception *A van falls into a river* (Duration: 148 minutes)"

"[looks over neighbour's fence while he's in the pool] ""Dude, we get it. You can hold your breath for [looks at watch] 19 days."""

"Hookers should use laundry mats as fronts for their brothels They both charge by the load."

"I get asked why I have a scar on my ass. The coat hangar missed."

"I'm a completely chill dude. But you try to cook my baby son in the pizza oven you built in your backyard... we're gonna have problems."

"I Walked In On My Dad Chopping Onions Up One Day... It made me cry. Onions was my favorite dog."

"Don't hate the PLAYA... hate the Spanish word for beach."

"The older I get, the earlier it gets late."

"If someone starts a speech, ""I'd like to take this opportunity--,"" I interrupt by shouting, ""He's trying to take our opportunity! Grab him!"""

"How do you organize a Space Party? You Planet."