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Joke of the Day

"I like my horses like I like this kind of joke. Beaten to fucking death. Jesus, come up with something better please."

"You can tell a lot about a person based on what they use as a gender-neutral singular pronoun."

"Why didn't the movie ticket get convicted of both of its crimes? It would only admit one."

"How do NASA organize a party? They planet"

"TOP REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES: 1) Ted Cruz 2) A gun 3) Your racist uncle 4) A gun in a cowboy hat 5) Jeb Bush 6) Literally a turd"

"I ate a vegetable... And she liked it so much she woke up."

"What's the opposite of an antijoke? An unclejoke"

"polish priest sacked by the Vatican...... Well that's really taken the shine off the pope :)"

"Two ninjas are training in a field. One ninja says ""I'll bet you can't hit that that target with your throwing star."" The other ninja says ""Shur-I-ken."""

"Why did Steve Jobs decline chemotherapy? Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away."