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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between 'Ignorance' and 'Apathy'? I don't know, and I don't care!"

"Whoever invented grass must be a billionaire that stuff is everywhere"

"I wish the girls who rejected me in high school could see how many Pokemon I've caught."

"what idiot named it Mail Order Bride instead of Male Order Bride?"

"Waiter there's a fly in my soup! Don't worry sir the spider on the breadroll will get 'em."

"Me: Don't tell me you've never thought about having sex with me. Her: No, I never have.... Me: I asked you not to tell me that."

"The two FIFA World Cup 2014 songs are Ole Ola & La La La. Our linguistic evolution as humans never ceases to amaze me."

"You know what the last thing I said last year was? One!"

"Why did the Mexican girl get pregnant? Her teacher told her to do an essay."

"Sorry I painted a hat on your head while you were sleeping, but I can't knit."