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Joke of the Day

"When is the only time a woman says something smart? When her sentence starts with ""A wise man once said"""

"Moses walks into a bar And says ""I'll just halve water"""

"10 bucks says Kanye signed the guest book at his own wedding."

"When I die I'm going to donate my body to science. That's the only way I'll ever get into medical school."

"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? *(choking sounds)*"

"If Trump wins tonight... He'll be the first person to go from P.O.S. to P.O.T.U.S."

"Two blondes walk into a building... You would think one of them would see the building coming."

"What do you call a dog with iron balls? Sparky."

"Getting to bed early so I can be well rested and fully alert for my morning anxiety."

"When someone's ignoring me I like to break into their house at night and steal all their shoes. We'll see how busy you are tomorrow."