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Joke of the Day

"Moses walks into a bar And says ""I'll just halve water"""

"Standing in a park today wondering why a frisbee gets larger the closer it gets. And then it hit me! -Stewart Francis"

"I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize Ayy"

"Me: There is a small tree on fire. 911: Could you describe it? Me:Picture shrubbery...now picture it engulfed in flames."

"Whats the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and one is a pause at the end of a clause."

"So I asked my North Korean frien how is life was going. He said ""can't complain"""

"What did the terrorist say to the police before he blew up the building? C4 yourself!"

"My goldfish died. The good news is I'm inheriting a tiny treasure chest."

"A really drunk guy... A really drunk guy gets into a taxi and says ""Heeeyy cab guy, can I leave the pizza and the beer in the front seat?"" ""yeah no problem"" -BHLUAGHH-"

"its 2013 fellas, if youre saying anything other than ""punch out a grumpy"" to describe taking a crap youre a dinosaur"