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Joke of the Day

"What did one earthquake say to the other? It's not my fault."

Next Joke
 
"Why did the guy get an erection when he saw a ruler? He had a foot fetish."
"What do doors and hookers have in common? You enter, come, and go. EDIT: changed punchline"
"What does an angry pepper do? It gets jalepeno face."
"I just saw a guy wearing uggs get arrested. Not sure what for, but I'm hoping it was because he was wearing uggs"
"Age 20: Gotta get ripped for Spring Break! Age 25: Exercise reduces stress! Age 35: My doctor says I'll die immediately if I don't do this"
"If the Mexicans are taking all of the jobs, then why do Koreans still rule the nail salons? Because Tu is better than Juan."
"H: You look nice. Me: I'm meeting one of my Twitter friends today. H: So you want your picture on the evening news to be a nice one? Me: Yep"
"My ear is bleeding because I tried to shave it. Now I have to create some elaborate lie to tell ppl how I cut my ear."
"How to make a gay fuck a women [NSFW] Shit in her cunt..."