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Joke of the Day
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"I'm responsible for 84% of all cat videos currently available on YouTube."
"There should be a food group called ""fuck it."""
"How do you get a one-armed monkey out of a tree? Wave at him"
"Haram Two jews walk into a bar. NOT IN MY COUNTRY"
"me: *rubs lamp* genie: I will grant you three wishes me: can you go away I'm rubbing this lamp"
"What is a pirate's favorite letter? You think it'd be R but it be the C"
"What do Batman's parents shout when dinners ready? NOTHING, BECAUSE THEY'RE DEAD."
"What's the difference between writing your will and owning an ant farm? One's a legacy, the other a sea of legs."
"Nurse: Where does it hurt? Me: *Points to heart* Nurse: Awwww that is so cute! Me. *COLLAPSES FROM HEART ATTACK*"