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Joke of the Day

"German women love me... I'm a ladies man. I saw this fine German woman. I didn't even have to chat her up for her to hastily give me her number. It was easy to remember 999 9999."

"Baby you must be a vector image... Cause no matter how close I look you're still perfect."

"How does Pocahontas celebrate her Cake Day? With a Pao Wow."

"The autopsy is going to show that the elevator tried to bring Prince down. Go crazy."

"Why don't you go down on a girl first thing in the morning? Haven't you ever peeled apart a hot grilled cheese sandwich?"

"How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America? They had reservations."

"What did the cell say to his sister when she stepped on his foot? Ow, mitosis!"

"If Hitler was the mascot of a lemonade company I said ""Glass of juice,"" not ""Gas the Jews!"""

"""i am equally happy on the couch watching netflix or at a party with friends"" = ""the human condition is one of sickness & contradiction"""

"What was Helen Keller's dog's name? Uuuuuueeeeuuuuhhhh!!!"