215187

Joke of the Day

"If you wanna go and take a ride with me with three women in the floor with the goat cheese."

"What is the difference between a bachelorette party and Cirque du Soleil? One is a group of cunning stunts."

"Why does the alphabet like to piss on the periodic table? Because it's elemental pee!"

"I don't know or care about anything, unless I'm currently reading, or have read in the past 3-5 minutes, a think piece on the subject."

"Yearly reminder: unless you're over 60, you weren't promised flying cars. You were promised an oppressive cyberpunk dystopia. Here you go."

"What separates man from animals? According to Donald Trump, the wall he is going to build."

"It's odd how they name storms, but they don't name calms. There's a gentle breeze this morning. I think I'll call him Doug."

"Why is it hard for old people to have sex? You ever try to pull apart a grilled cheese?"

"If Mr. Bean lost one of his legs he'd be cannellini!"

"So a centaur walks into a bar The bartender says, ""Hey, how's the sore throat?"" The centaur replies, ""My throat isn't horse but my legs are."""