221706

Joke of the Day

"Have you heard about the new Exorcist movie? The mother calls the Devil to pull the priest out of her son."

"My dog jumps so much, I think she might have a disease Seems like leaprosy"

"Fun game: Borrow some tools from your neighbor and return them one by one covered in blood until they move."

"I finally set up a new sky light in my apartment! I don't know why my upstairs neighbors are so furious though."

"One of these days you'll see the real me. Probably next week. I'm almost out of concealer."

"How do you get a fat girl into bed? Piece of cake! Edit: Holy shit I didn't even realize it was my cake day. Woah"

"Why did mozart kill his chickens? Because they were always saying, ""Bach, Bach, Bach, Bach"""

"Someone was taken down to the police station after they were caught drinking vodka from a coffee cup while driving. They took a mug shot."

"What is a girl pirate hookers worst nightmare? (NSFW) Riding on a bunch of different ships, but never getting any seamen."

"You Must Have A High Ohm Rating Because the more voltage I put in you, the hotter you get."