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Joke of the Day
"Why did mozart kill his chickens? Because they were always saying, ""Bach, Bach, Bach, Bach"""
Next Joke
"I had an uncle who worked at a whiskey factory. He fell into a vat and drowned 6 hours later. He would have drowned earlier but he got out 3 times to pee."
"Decorating my xmas tree after a bottle of wine. Mixed up a box of candy canes with a box of tampons. Tree looks weird and I feel minty."
"What animal do I respect most? The octopus. I have no idea what to do with my hands most of the time, and I only have two of them."
"HO_SE BOAT I'd like to solve the puzzle Pat, Horse Boat"
"What did the scientist say when a stranger came inside his lab? What the fuck dude get the hell away from my dog!"
"A man walks into hospital ""What's with Jane ?"" ""It doesn't look good"" ""Yeah, I know, I'm asking about her health"""
"So Nickelback walks into a bar... [xpost from r/funny] There's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny."
"Off to the DMV. Time for new license pic. Gonna be really drunk for it. If i ever get pulled over the cop will think i always look like that"
"elephant: i'm thirsty, how do i drink mother nature: inhale water & squirt it from ur nose directly into ur mouth elephant: what the hell"