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Joke of the Day

"Two caw are standing in a field Cow 1: Did you hear about the outbreak of mad cow disease? Cow 2: Good thing I'm a helicopter."

Next Joke
 
"All I want for Christmas is my own perfume commercial where I say random words like 'hope' and 'passion' & look like a date rape victim."
"What noise does a Nintendo ambulance make? Wii-u-Wii-u-Wii-u-Wii-u-Wii-u"
"what i don't understand is that a pope can choose his own name but there's never been a Pope Batman"
"My wife doesn't know this, but for the first 3 years of our marriage I thought we were supposed to share a toothbrush."
"Why cant clinton stand straight? Because she is Crooked."
"Psst. The real reason Ryan Gosling is taking a break from acting was to molt, mature & become Ryan Goose."
"If you're riding a horse at full speed along side a giraffe and a lion is chasing you, what do you do? Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round. Props to the radio station I heard this on today."
"[start of interview] Me: hi sir nice to meet you *i go to shake is hand but spill his coffee everywhere* Interviewer: ...welcome to BP"
"What's more fun than nailing dead babies to a wall? Scraping them back off"