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Joke of the Day

"What's more fun than nailing dead babies to a wall? Scraping them back off"

"If E.T. is making your bicycle fly through the sky, why do you still have to pedal?"

"Why did the thesaurus have a creeping feeling? He had an antonym."

"Can I fax something to you? 'Could you fax over a copy?' 'No, I can't fax because of where I live' 'Where do you live?' 'The 21st century'"

"Q: What is the first thing that President Clinton says after waking up? A: ""Good morning Bill."""

"Life's like a bird, it's pretty cute until it shits on your head."

"GF asked ""Can you hand me my shoes?"" Me: ""No, but I can feet them to you"""

"DM:You're so hot, wanna Skype? Me: it is quite hot, and a skype sounds delicious. Is that vodka? DM: ME:hello...you there"

"I'll sell my broken watch when the time is right."

"Woman at dentist"