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Joke of the Day

"If a child's survival depended on my ability to share bacon, I would weep greasy, bacony tears at that child's funeral."

"I spend a lot of time thinking about you and how you were pretty much good with everything. By you I mean Nutella."

"This coworker is about to find out walking around smiling on a Monday always leads to workplace accidents."

"What's the difference between a lobster and a bus stop? Ones a busty crustacean the other is a crusty bus station"

"What do an alcoholic and a necrophile have in common? They both like to crack open a cold one."

"A man told his friend: ""After 12 years of... ...therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, 'No hablo ingles.'"""

"Engineering Class My teacher tells me there are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't..."

"ITS A BOY"" I shouted ""A BOY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT, ITS A BOY"". And with tears streaming down my face I swore I'd never visit another Thai Brothel!"

"Why do Gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have big fingers"

"A man came up to me and said, ""Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry."" I said, ""That is very annoying."" He said, ""Well I can only apologise."""