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Joke of the Day

"A man told his friend: ""After 12 years of... ...therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, 'No hablo ingles.'"""

"What do you call a mammoth who conducts an orchestra? Tuskanini."

"I'm using an old Indian trick in order to wake myself up early: Eating several large curries right before bed."

"5: I cleaned my room. Me: Great! Do you feel good? Sometimes it makes me feel good when I clean something. 5: No. Next time you can do it."

"Victim gets beat up, laptop stolen But that's not the whole story so if you see ""charged with battery"" don't buy it!"

"Christmas is my favorite four months of the year."

"Pokemon Go has really improved my life... I used to always get in trouble for playing with my balls outside."

"How do you find out if a dead man has autism? You give them an autopsy"

"A man suffering Crohns Disease who speaks to the deceased is currently fornicating with his obese wife. he's a small medium in large."

"Why was the pig unhappy in the Minors? Because he wants to play in the Pig Leagues."