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Joke of the Day

"Engineering Class My teacher tells me there are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't..."

"i look at my phone's 100% battery icon with the same fondness as proud parents watching their children bounce out of bed yelling ""pancakes!"""

"I just heard a horrific story about a man who left his house without his phone."

"An unconscious man arrives at a hospital... After a series of x-rays, the radiologist discovered the man had several plastic horses in his anus. The doctors have declared his condition as ""stable."""

"i had an asthma attack with all that wheezing you would of thought i would have heard them hiding"

"How did the investigators discover that a serial killer had dandruff? They found head & shoulders in his bathroom."

"Just thought of one: Why is an abortionist good to have on your team? If you conceive something, they can execute it."

"Beetlejuice 2 has been announced and is bringing Keaton back but without Winona... They were afraid she'd steal the show. /me drops the mic and walks off stage waving a pop tart"

"My dentist is hysterical:""just let me put the tip in. It won't hurt. I have drugs to numb the pain"" Ha. should go see him professionally!"

"Sharks would look awesome with mustaches, but evolution said no. Cause evolution is a dick."