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Joke of the Day

"9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape"

"My roommate is really dedicated to dental hygiene just last night I heard her using an electric toothbrush for what seemed like an hour"

"Drugs are a crazy thing What did jerry Garcia say to Bob weir when they ran out of drugs? Man this music sucks!"

"The taco shop gave me napkins, don't they know I'm a professional burrito eater? That's like giving condoms to a porn star."

"What is a traitor? A tray shaped dinosaur. Credits go to the wife for that one! She still giggles when she tells it."

"For the next two days you can call me Edward... I'll be snowed in"

"What did that cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Wiped his ass"

"Why shouldn't you talk to someone with a brain tumor?.... ..because they've got a lot on their mind."

"[sex in car] ME: Remember when you could do this without fear of strangers watching? BF: Yes UBER DRIVER: Would you like a water?"

"""How about... we change the 6 to a 7?"" ""I love it!"" --board meeting at the company that makes novelty sunglasses for New Year's Eve"