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Joke of the Day

"As a child whenever I asked my parents to close the closet at night they always said. ""Why? Anything that could kill you can open that door"""

Next Joke
 
"Can you believe they're still together after all that crap?!? (Who?) MY BUTTCHEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"I couldn't figure out how the hammer and nails worked... So I just said ""Screw it."""
"Drinking light beer is like having sex in a canoe... ... fucking near water"
"What do you call a Mexican who can't find his car? Carlos"
"I've been diagnosed with chronic fear of giants; Feefiphobia"
"Girl, you have a nice... http://imgur.com/OJKPTJr"
"Why did the emoji fly to Syria? It wanted to become an Emojihad!"
"*Builds panic room out of Swiss cheese* *Fails to see holes in plan*"
"I made eye contact with a British boy today and quietly asked ""Are you Harry Potter?"" and he and his Mother did NOT think it was funny."