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Joke of the Day

"Why should you date a girl who is good with her hands and plays soccer? Because she's probably a keeper."

"Jesus Christ, i can't believe you people are actually making jokes about using chloroform to rape someone. What the fuck is wrong with you? Just choke her."

"You know what's funny about Internet Explorer? Punch line buffering..."

"A woman walks into a bar. ""OUCH!"""

"i get sad for like an hour and then happy for 5 minutes and then sad for another hour and then happy for 3 minutes omg break ups r real hard"

"What does a Buddhist monk say when ordering a subway sandwich? *Make me one with everything*"

"I was going to upload a gay joke on this sub. But fuck it."

"Whenever I see someone pick up an avocado, feel it, and put it back I pick up that same avocado and whisper ""you're still beautiful"" to it."

"""I'm so wet!"" she screamed at me. ""I'm so fucking wet!"" she screamed at the top of her lungs. ""Give it to me, now!"" She could yell all she wanted, I was keeping the umbrella."

"Anyone remember this from the Austin Powers commercial? ""If you see one movie this summer... see Starwars... but if you see two movies see Austin Powers...."""