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Joke of the Day

"A woman walks into a butcher and asks for a pound of kidleys The butcher says ""do you mean kidneys?"" She answers ""that's what's I said diddly I"""

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"A horror movie where the girl in the woods actually outruns the mutated chainsaw murderer, then it shows him sadly limping back to his car."
"I don't need to run a marathon to load up on carbs and ask someone to wrap me up in a blanket."
"Bad sign. My fortune cookie just said, ""Abdominal cramps""."
"I had sex with a campfire. It was hot."
"I wish there was an "" I don't get it button."""
"What does your s*** smell like? Freedom."
"Did you hear about the midget psychic who escaped from prison? Headlines read: ""Small Medium at Large"""
"The hottest chick rang me up at the self checkout today!"
"""is Pepsi ok?"" - my coke dealer, tryin to be funny"