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Joke of the Day

"I hate when I drop my pen on the floor and it's slightly out of reach so I leave it there forever."

"I went to Africa to help with the Ebola crisis. When I left, my mentor said thanks and told me that all of Africa was behind me. I instinctively reached for my wallet."

"[job interview] ""Tell me a strength."" I'm a decision maker. ""Excellent. How about a weakness?"" I'm a bad decision maker."

"The baby Woman at a maternity hospital is in a lot of pain, moaning. The man strokes her back, ""I'm so sorry sweetheart that you have to endure this..."" ""Don't worry Steve, it's not your fault."""

"6-year-old: *finds a picture she drew* Why was this in the trash? Me: 6: Me: It was too good. I didn't want to make your sisters jealous."

"*Cowboy stares at the horizon* ""A storm's comin"" [In the distance, Darude 'Sandstorm' can be heard faintly] *Cowboy cracks a glowstick*"

"Your calculator will be there for you tomorrow... You can count on it."

"Why do bees stay in their hive during Winter? Swarm."

"What if the cure for cancer is in the mind of someone who cant afford an education?"

"Professor: What is an independent variable? Student: A variable who don't need no man"