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Joke of the Day
"I had sex with a campfire. It was hot."
Next Joke
"WIFE: Don't be scared of him. Tell your boss you quit. ME: Ok, I will. [later that day] ME: I quit BOSS: WHAT?? ME: I said, nice squid"
"What do you call a baby panther? a Newton."
"How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb? Seven. One to install the bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years"
"A man asks a bartender: ""How late does the band play?"" ""Only about half a beat behind the drummer."" The bartender replies."
"Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted"
"Jehovah Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween; I guess they don't appreciate random people coming up to their doors."
"My favorite Lil Wayne song is the one where he sounds like a confused 8 year old with aspergers reading the list of toppings at Cold Stone."
"I want to make a special present for my dad's birthday. How do I make a St. Patrick's Day mocha? He says Irish coffee is the only thing keeping this family together"
"What do you call a cow that's had an abortion? Decaffeinated! Bah dum dum...ting"