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Joke of the Day

"Texting...because men didn't have a hard enough time understanding women before so we had to take away the ability to convey tone."

"'Space Jam' never gets old - that's because in the sterile environment of space fruit preserves don't spoil. Hi, I'm Neil deGrasse Tyson."

"I wish I could find a girl that loved me as much as she loves her hair."

"Did You Know Willie Nelson Just Died? He was playing On The Road Again."

"What did Sherlock ask his friend when he wanted to know what they were having for dinner? Watson the menu"

"Where do poor meatballs live? In the spaghetto"

"How many copies can you make of a page without a copying machine? Xero."

"Sometimes you have to put your phone down and take a look at what's around you.. And wonder how you drove your car into a swimming pool."

"I want to work for YouTube. It sounds so easy! All you have to do is remove a few lines of code everyday!"

"I was never a big believer in feng shui, UNTIL I took the urinal off my livingroom wall. It's like freaking magic!"