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Joke of the Day

"Texting...because men didn't have a hard enough time understanding women before so we had to take away the ability to convey tone."

"How to properly use a paper clip: 1. Throw in garbage 2. Use a stapler"

"Hey I'm in jail on the police station for having an ugly face..... Can you please come over and show them they got the wrong person?"

"How many rappers does it take to change a lightbulb? Two!.......pac. ^(*It's a lot better spoken than written.*)"

"Most offensive one liner joke I know.. So I was eating this bitch out the other day and I tasted horse semen so I looked up and said, ""Ooooooh grandma that's how you died."""

"Titanium is a most amorous metal... When it gets hot, it'll combine with anything."

"woke up just in time to push my cat off the bed before he threw up. today is going to be magical."

"I only make mistakes when I'm around people who are observant."

"Why do woman make terrible truck drivers? Because you give them one good load and it takes them nine months to deliver."

"11/9 The day America terrorized themselves."