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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes you have to put your phone down and take a look at what's around you.. And wonder how you drove your car into a swimming pool."

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"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun."
"""He's no longer updating iTunes."" - A very modern way of saying someone died"
"I like my women as I like my sandwiches... ...no crust."
"What's the difference between the standard alphabet and Christmas alphabet? There's Noel."
"Today i learned that the average person has 8 sexual partners in their lifetime Today i also learned im a whore"
"Where do you go in the room when you're cold? The corner, it's 90 degrees."
"Shout out to the dude who's followed and unfollowed approximately 25632 times this week."
"""Houston we ... are fine."" Female astronaut probably"
"What do you call a little person who can talk to ghosts and just escaped from prison? A small medium at large."