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Joke of the Day

"Maybe you owe the rhythm some money and that's why it's trying to get you. WE DON'T KNOW!"

"my penis was being a dick so..... i told him to grow up"

"I'm not saying she's a slut, but if she had as many dicks sticking out of her as she did in her, She'd be a porcupine!"

"""I do not negotiate with terrorists!"" said me, everyday, multiple times a day, to my children."

"In the time it took you to read this, Woody Allen made another film and it starred some big names and it was ok and now it's on DVD already"

"Like ""dollar,"" ""euro"" is not capitalized. Unlike a dollar, a euro can actually buy you something."

"If HBO released all ten episodes of Game of Thrones at once, maybe I'd be able to remember the characters' names from episode to episode."

"--Whenever I am down in the dumps, I buy a new hat. --So that's where you get them."

"You read for a part, you feel good about it, you feel confident, then they cast Ben Affleck."

"What's the name of a computer that turned into a singer A dell."