189005
Joke of the Day
"I'm trying not to get an erection... But it's hard."
Next Joke
"It's hard to write a good drinking song. I can never make it past the first few bars."
"A good metaphor for today's youth is the book Peter Pan... Kids sneak out. Get high on dust together. Beat up handicapped man, and steal his boat."
"My neighbour finally confronted me about clothes missing from her washing line. I nearly shit her pants."
"MOM don't come in I'm watching porn on my phone. just slide the grilled cheese under the door"
"Cop: Sir, can you step outside please? Me: Sir? Awww! You are SO polite! Cop: Excuse me? Me: Now you're just showing off."
"What do zombies with dyslexia eat? Brians."
"What do you pasta with a witty comeback? Retortellini."
"What's the difference between Saint Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day? Everyone wants to be Irish on Saint Patrick's Day."
"When I text someone in the same room as me, I stare at them until they get it..."